Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
High Jokes
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
Why did the researchers want all the shore birds high on marijuana?
They wanted to leave no tern unstoned.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Weedle will make you high.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
