High jokes
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
Weedle will make you high.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
York High School is the best school ever!
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.