High jokes
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
What group of high school students touch the most dicks?
The jocks.
People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
Why do you always high five the emo person? 'Cause you can't just leave them hanging.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)