High jokes

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.

How do fish get high?

Because they eat seaweed.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!

High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

What do high school kids and Dow have in common? They both test chemicals.

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

Why is it bad to high five an emo?

They will leave themselves hanging.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?