What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
