What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
