A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
freshman - hey whats better ford or chevy. seinor - i dont fuckin care long as it drives. freshman - so im guessing its chevy
my friend: hey i got 15 kills! me: i got 60 kills! my friend: i didn't know you played call of duty! me: whats call of duty?
Hey what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is Sundyed tomato
Get it sundyed like son died
what did the orphan say to its parents? hey mom and dad oh wait ur not my parents i dont have nun will u adopt me pls they people:no
You know having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
this ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap and in a few days he saw her again and he went up to her and said hey you gave me the clap and she said NO I DID NOT I sold it to ya
hey you why are you so sirius
"Hey, man do you have any ben and jerry's?"
"yeah I have two of them fresh and preserved in the freezer"
"I meant the ice cream bro..."
Man: Hey siri! Siri: Yes? Man: Im desperate, will you marry me? Siri: Uh... *phone literally explodes*
You: hey Alexa what is your gender? Alexa: I idenify as Michael Jackson and my pronens are...... Me: *hears it* and their pronens are he/he
“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”
-hey, are you single? -no, I'm album
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket. I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
Hey Girl: hey Damn i forgot my spray bottle Girl: what It says spray on flat surfaces
me : hey! do you know how to tie a knot? person : yea, why? me : cause I need help tying this noose :)
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
I once saw an orphan... Decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"...... They didn't reply.... I kept asking them.... They started crying.... I started laughing.... They ran away.....
Kidnapper: hey kid your parents told me to pick you up Kid: Sir this is an orphanage Kidnapper: ...
