Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!
Whats red, 6 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her ?
Her miscarriage
yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor looked at her face then at her butt and said Twins!
Why did sally fall of the swing-someone chucked a brick at her. Why did sally through a clock out the window-she had brain damage from the brick.
How do you know when you girlfriend is to young ?
you have to make airoplane noises to get her to open her mouth..
sorry
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorow.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset, she said it’s to small, so that’s all, but later that day, he wanted to say, every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lieing, she started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all, everyone said, fly away big chunky balls.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.....
Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest : "What have you done my child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl : "Because he touched my hand."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my breast."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
Yo mama's so ugly she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
Yo mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves.
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.
The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch you have to give her money first
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry... . . . . . . So I threw a coconut at her...
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born the doctor tried to put her back in.
