Herring jokes

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.

ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill,

And now there's little Frankey.

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.