Herring jokes

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?

Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.