Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf? When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice....
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day: Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at holloween
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show, by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some Marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly jIll forgot her pill and now they have a son.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
So a daughter asks her father "dad what is you opinion on abortions?" So her father says why don't you ask your sister. The daughter responds "but I don't have a sister... Oh"
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."
