New Herring Jokes - Page 43 - Worst Jokes Ever

Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo mama so OLD... Her first christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

YO MAMA! Yo mama so FAT... i tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.