So my ex who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though will has a better haircut then me but anyway when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat. Then I told her she has the wendys logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit I was done Anyways she cried lol
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings to words. "Sally, can you tell me what beautiful means?" Sally: "You.." Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what malicious means?" Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus." Teacher: "Great job Andrew! Now, what does fat mean? Johnny?" Johnny: "A pig." Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini-" Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me."
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself? So she can moan with her right hand.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
Yo mama is so fat that people had to take pictures of her from space
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.
yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables. The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
Why a Muslim girl don't like her dad and namaz. Bcz she has to get on her knees
A girl said she liked dogs, I called her a bitch
DH: I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Dark..Humor :)
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
An orphan girl’s boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
“If her parents didn’t want her, why should I?” 😂😂😂
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so see can bleed more
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".
yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money
