Hereness jokes
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Why are orphans not on this?
They don’t want to listen to the dumbos on here!
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
Hi, um okay... Knock! Knock! Who's there? Doris! Doris who? Doris look I need the key!
Um...oh here another one! Okay...so sorry I type random things on these joke sites...anyway...okay. What is a book never written: "Beautiful sites of the corel rife written by the ocean!"
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
WOW! I CAN SEE THE TWIN TOWERS FROM HERE.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What did an Arab say to feed his kid?
'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
Get off of here, kids!
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."