Hereness jokes

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.

What did an Arab say to feed his kid?

'Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second airplane!'

How does a terrorist feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane."

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?

Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.

Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.

Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-

Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.

Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?