Hereness jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

How do terrorists feed their babies?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

How does a terrorist feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane."

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.

Hi, I'm new here.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Little off topic but...

Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.

Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.

Mum: Fair point.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

Wow! The jokes on here are so dark they pick my cotton!

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.