Hereness jokes
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
Anyone here a spoon?
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?
This guy, yep, this guy right here.
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
Hey, talk to me here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.