Hereness jokes
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
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A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
care to explain bitch? it seems thats what youre good at
There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "Here you go!"
So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.
Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.
Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: Good night!
Prince: Why?
Gwen: Because...now good night!
Prince: We can work some things out?
Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!
To be continued
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Orphanage protest jokes here!
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because these jokes are not funny.
Here's why the chicken crossed the road...
The chicken was on the run from a crazy-ass butcher ready to murder the poor thing, so the chicken crossed the road. The chicken was crossing the road, then a blind kid saw the chicken, and the kid was hit by a flying rock, his vision was blurred (what vision?) and was actually cured of the blind. The chicken ran and jumped into a truck's opening and was never seen again... The kid got up from the ground and looked at the road, to see the chicken was not there, and said..." The chicken crossed the road...." The kid yelled at everyone about the chicken crossing the road and got a lot of positive attention. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit were full of the chicken nonsense and gained widespread attention from N.A to Asia in only 1 day.
The butcher was arrested for the attempted murder of a joke animal and was sentenced to over 20 years in solitary confinement, and a few weeks later, the sentence was moved to a life sentence, and the butcher became known as The ChicKiller.
The End (hope you enjoyed, I was bored so I made this shit...)
On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.
Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:
"Do you know what arthritis is?"
The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:
"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."
The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.
A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:
"How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."
Kiwi: she's here!!
2022
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.