My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Her Jokes
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
