Her jokes

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

Haha, I fucked you over!

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't wanna hang out.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.