Her jokes
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.
Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.
My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.