Distress jokes

Help me...

Hey ummm help!

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."

Fall

It's been an hour since I crashed the tower.

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.