Distress jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

Hey ummm help!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Help me...

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."

Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.

I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.