Distress jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.

I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"

That's the best I've done so far.

Why was the boy crying?

He had a frog stapled to his face.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

Hey ummm help!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Help me...

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?

"It will be over soon."