Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop.
Health Jokes
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.
It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
