Health jokes
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
"Don't have sex" - Jake.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?