Health jokes
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
Down syndrome sucks!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.
Now we wait...
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?
Why do Mexicans take Xanax?
Because they’re Hispanic attacks.
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.