Health jokes
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
This person has Down syndrome.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.