Health jokes
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What do you do when you get rid of prostate cancer? Cell-ablate!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Don't let an extra chromosome keep you down!
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."