Head jokes

You got a pig head!

Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?

She doesn't eat pigs.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"

Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?

What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?

A mosque after a missile strike.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"