Head jokes
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
You got a pig head!
Yo head so freaking small, people thought it was an expired grape.
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
What does your head come out of... your brain?
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
Do I like playing Russian Roulette? Gun to the head, I'd have to say no.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
👌neck
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.