Head jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"