Have jokes

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

1: Hey.

2: What?

1: We're outta paint.

2: *HMM*

(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't have a home to go to.

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

I don't have time to write this joke.

Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?

A: Because they don't have any parents.

Why can't an orphan hit a home run?

They have no home to run to.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."

"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.

"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."

What do a tank and a warship have in common?

They're overweight.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?

They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.

Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?

The damages are severe.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

They don't have anybody to sign the form.