Tucker Carlson jokes

People claim that Trump has Russian ties.

FAKE NEWS!

All of Trump's ties are made in China.

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?

By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!