Have jokes
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
What does a "Smart Russian" and a "Unicorn" have in common?
Answer: Non-existence!
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came back.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can’t see their parents.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy"/"mommy."
What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?
Adolf Hit-her.