Have jokes
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
What's the difference between women and men?
Men have rights.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.