Have jokes
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.