Happening Jokes

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window? A corn stalk!!

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. they did this one time a night. The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said eww it tastes like cheese and onions. The husband replied hang on I haven't put the condom on yet.

i love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were! :)

What happens when the twin towers breathe they collapse like a orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa

What happened when two invisible giants knocked over there blocks? 9/11.

What happens when you work in the twin towers. It connects to airplane wifi

Why is black mystery not an airhead flavor? Because we already know what happened to them *shot fires*

what happens when you kick a boy in the balls. THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN

What did the hecadrocophodecadus said to the hopetihopetifuckendecker? "It didnt happen, but it should have"

So dark Many jokes about orphans God this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans

What happens if you mix the two names Shannon and Stephanie? You have the name Shanny

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a babies birthday party. You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."

Kid: “What happened to dad?” Mom: “he flew into the twin towers.”

Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

1. They usually happen in the usa 2. They’re like the forth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming

I went to the local butchers and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer"

"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

The butcher says "I had to fire her too"

Alternative punchline:

I had to all social services, she was only 14