Happening

Happening jokes

Airplane

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Hitler

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Bar

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Memes

Pistachio

What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?

He became a shell of who he once was.

Stephen Hawking

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Tower

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.

President

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Sadness

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

Emo kid

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

Orphan

What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

Well, they weren’t always orphans.

Plane Crash

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.