Happening jokes

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

What happens when a cow masturbates?

Beef jerky.

Scientist time travels into the year 2024.

Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?

Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?

What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

What happened when the gun dealer found his pistol in his shoe?

He found that he had a piece in his sole!

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

What happened when a hammer punished the nail?

He hit him.

What happens when you cross a pig and karate?

A pork chop!

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

Warning! Cringe Alert!

What happens when you leave your phone at jail?

It becomes a cell phone.

What happens when you fail to be an emo? You don't make the cut.

What happens to Freedom Towers if they got hit? They stepped in Ground Zero.

Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?

A: It gets pooped out of the bag.

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.

What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.

What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

God made me pretty, what happened to you?