Hair jokes

Why are eagles 🦅 bald?

Because they don’t wear wigs.

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.

What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?

Head & Shoulders.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

What is the toughest part of the human body?

Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?

"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.

"T," said the blonde.

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

I used to hate facial hair,

but then it grew on me.

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

Emos,

They're always a cut above the rest.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

James Charles is more straight than your hairline.

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?

A receding hairline.