Hair jokes
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Is your hairline a time traveler, because it went way back?
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.