Guys jokes

Twilight

  • Summary of Twilight in one sentence:

    Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.

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  • Orphanage

  • Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.

    Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.

    What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.

  • 1
  • Friend

  • So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))

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  • Gift

  • I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.

  • 4
  • Guy

  • Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)

    Au revoir, GGG

    Fall

  • When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.

    Bar

  • A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

    Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

    Girlfriend

  • Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

    She’s so nice.

    Drama

  • Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!

    And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!

    Best, Tenya Bailey.

    Fan

  • If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

    Balance

  • A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

    The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

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  • Wife

  • Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

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  • Butcher

  • "I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

    "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

    "I'm a butcher," he replies.