Guys jokes

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?

"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Family Guy funny moments.

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

Guys, am I funny?

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

Kenya text: Guys, leave Gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES

OK, guys, quick update, what is going on with Freshfry, Drew, and Alya?

All they're doing is fighting, and I want to put an end to it. So Freshfry, Drew, and Alya all need to read this, OK. First, Freshfry, you should've just said OK the first thing he said, and Drew... really? You had to keep egging him on. I don't know about Alya, but it's like cats and dogs fighting. Just please stop fighting :(

She really sucks, and the guy who is with her sucks too.