Guys jokes

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?

Family Guy.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

I see you guys have SANS-ational jokes!

What show do orphans hate?

Family Guy.

What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?

The Oreo Gang!

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?

Depends how hard they blow out the candles.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.

What do you call a cut cucumber?

A guy with no legs.

When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?

Tie the bungee cord around his neck.

So a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says tell me a joke. So the guy says: so a guy walks into a bar and he asks the bartender for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.