Guys jokes
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.
Hey guys,
I'm starting to think they don't have any candy in this van...
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Guys, look at the comments, omg!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"
Dude named Guys:
Dude named Out:
Dude named School:
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.