Guy

Guy jokes

Pickle

  • Guy: Do you want a nickel?

    Girl: Sure.

    Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

    Girl: 😳😩😩😩

    Incest

  • Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

    I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

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  • Doctor

  • A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."

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  • Layla

  • A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

    The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

    The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

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  • Shadow

  • Have you guys heard about the crazy shadow glitch in the game Sonic X? Just google "Sonic X Shadow."

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  • Snack

  • J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.

    Guy: Oh, what is it?

    J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.

    Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?

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  • Wood

  • A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

    The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

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  • Spring

  • These two guys were texting each other.

    Guy 1: How are you?

    Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

    Guy 1: ???

    Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

    Oatmeal

  • Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.

    Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.

    Clarie: It was painful!

    Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

    Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

    Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

    Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!

    Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

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  • People

  • Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

    Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

    Banana Peel

  • Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

    Tent

  • This guy goes to the doctor and says, “I think I’m a wigwam, no, I think I’m a teepee, no, I must be a wigwam, no, a teepee.”

    The doctor tells him, “I think I understand your problem. You’re two tents.”