Gun

Gun Jokes

School shooting

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

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  • Bro

    (Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

    (My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

    (Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

    At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

    Policeman

    I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

    Shooter

    The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Hitler

    So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

    Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

    Rapper

    There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

    Enemy

    If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

    Soul

    Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

    Harambe

    Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

    *grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

    Republican

    If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

    Body

    Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.

    Rabbit

    Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

    It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

    Auntie

    I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

    (gun shot)

    School Shooter

    The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

    Border

    Jeff crosses the US border.

    The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

    Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

    Kid

    What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.