Gun jokes

What do you call an American house?

A gun safe.

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."

So there was a school shooting in Florida. Why didn't the shooter just go to Disney?.......sorry, I just work there and I'm trying to get people to come on down.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"

If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

I'm in school shooting. #USA

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.

Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?

It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.

How many guns can an octopus hold?

9

The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.