Gun jokes
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
When you get caught about to shoot up the school,
*slowly puts AR to chin*
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.
So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.
This didn't actually happen.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”