What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
what do you call a group of special ed kids with guns............... special forces
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
