Guess Jokes

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

I guess you could say Stephen Hawkins is a dead meme

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.

They told me throwing babies was bad but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

My girl friend broke up with me and I took her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

I went to my sister room one day. I see a trophy, so I ask my sister how did you won this trophy my sister said to me the neighbors gave it to me because I gave out the best hand jobs in the neighbor. I guess my sister put her hands in good use.

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

People say I LIKE UR CUT G. Which is when u get a fresh cut but I guess when u go bald we can say like ur forehead g

I know it’s really really really really really bad

I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.. Guess what? It had no home button.

When they say you live by the sword you die by the sword, not in Paul Walkers case he lived by the car died by a tree well I guess the car was stumped

the biggest inconvenience in 2001 i thought was my brother turns out it was 9/11 i guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was aluh aluckbar

guess how i got away from my mom saying i can't play fortnite, i took my stuff and I ran to Iran

imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren't russian. They were probaly stalin.

Today i find out that my cat got hit by a car accident, wellp i guess im gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again, Its not like anyone will notice.

So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging them selves I guess they lost Hangman

My friends hate when i make skeleton jokes.I guess i need to put more backbone into it.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I'm EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat