Guess jokes

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.

Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

Hangman.

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.

I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.

My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?

He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.