Guess Jokes

My step bro thought I was single and tried to Take me but I said I'm take and guess what he did cried". Why wwhy would u do that

Guess what's 'tiiiimmeeeee ABDE'?

....yes, it is long time no see

my friend dumped me so i stole there wheelchair have a guess who came crawling back

guess what everybody im dumb in math im dumb and stupid at math

Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.

Which room has no doors and no windows?

guess what ?

good guess

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.

Person: why'd you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

A depressed boy went to high five a tree guess what the tree did? The tree left him hanging

Mike Oxlong: What's deez Mike? Mike Oxsmall: I dunno. What is deez? Mike Oxlong: DEEZ NUTS! HA, GOT 'EM!

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage"

If you guessed "Marriage" your stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never get's old to him. Just like the baby.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.

A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.

So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Me: I kiss my mom on the lips Friend: Uh, I guess that's somewhat nor- Me: Lower lips Friend: I gotta go

I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger? "I guess orange is the new black"

A kid asks hims mom "mom how much do you love me" the mother responds with "i love you as much as i love your brother" the kid looks confused and says "but i don't have a brother" the mother smiles and says "well i guess my love is not existing