Guess jokes

Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!

Plagiarism!

Ok, here's a story about the church.

There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.

Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

I got in an argument with the 90-degree angle. And guess what? It was right!

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

I never understood school shooting jokes.

I guess they were aimed at younger audiences.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

Richard: What????

Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

Rick: Oh I will.

*It was the day March 21st*

*9 Days later*

*March 31st*

Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

*one day later*

*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

*Richard*

*oh he's the dumbass*

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery.

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

So I heard it was important to clean your sex toys, which is why priests invented baptism I guess.