Random: What are your hobbies?
Me: Bullying kids in WhatsApp groups 💀
Hi! Could I join?
Are there support groups for men?
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Cool people: I can do anything.
Normal people: I can do nothing.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in traffic?
A cypher circle.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...
Bloody seamen.
What do you call a group of emos a cutting board
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
