Ground

Ground jokes

Watermelon

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

Emo

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

Grandpa

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

Tower

The north and south towers got into an argument.

The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."

Dildo

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Memes

Carrot

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

Woman

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Electronics

How did Stephen Hawking really die?

His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!

Cowboy

One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

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  • Pen

    I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

    Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

    Parachute

    What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

    One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

    Vape

    I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

    Chicken

    What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!