Ground jokes
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Floor on the road?
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
What's the difference between emos and 9/11?
The emos are still there, high up off the ground.
I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.
I wasn't clean after this.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.