When the school shooter says to get on the ground but the sped kid thinks it's simon says
jeffrey dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee black and ground up
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
yo mama so fat she fell over Nobody laughed but the ground cracked up
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Fall
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
If ypu were to drop an emo & a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first
The leaf cuz the emo is always hanging
