Great Jokes

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why are cows such great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Yo hairline was used as the blueprint for the Great Wall of China.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

I'm in the year 1930...

The Great Depression.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was an amazing pilot.

I went for my routine check up last week, and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?

I suffered The Great Depression.

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.