Great jokes

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.

My great grandpa killed Hitler.

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was such a good pilot.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.

It's a great way to pass the time.

Yo mama so fat it took her 3 seconds to cross the Great Wall of China.

I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he had great FLOW-CULUS skills!

Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.

Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.

And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...