This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf Official flag of Japan? The Sun Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol
As a hobby I started taking walks around the old clock tower. It's a great way to pass the time.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt. 18. What caused the Great depression? A lack of comedians.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. my dad was a great pilot!
The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are to young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
My father died in 9 11. Its such a shame. He was a great pilot😔
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
"How was your day?" "It was great" "what was so great about it?" "i saw a puppy" "awww" "and i ran over it :)"
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time! Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy? But he really saved the History Channel.
Look, Bono is a great guy. But shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11. My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
With Great Depression comes great antidepressants
my great grandpa killed hitler
Sex is like pizza When it’s hot, it’s great When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: 'Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears, says 'But doctor... I am Pagliacci.'
