Great jokes

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

Who needs parents to be great?

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Why don't rappers ever get LOST?

Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?

A fossil.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I gave an emo kid money.

He gave me the great depression.

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Butcher knives are great tools for cutting many things!

Fruit, vegetables, my arms.