My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
Why is emo grass better than normal grass?
Emo grass is gonna cut themself.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
What's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead children?
My penis.
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
what is green grass you tard
um I need help how should I deal with depression?
joke: I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Grass for lash.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
Go touch some grass, bro.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
