Grass jokes

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Roses are red.

Grass is green.

I think of you sucking my peen.

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A Lawn Moo-er.

If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!

What did the cow say?

Moo!

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It's pasture your bedtime.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!

Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?

It made sour milk.

If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.