Grass jokes
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Memes
What did the cow say?
Moo!
I just planted emo grass.
Ignore it and it cuts itself.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.